You spent months planning every detail. The client approved everything — scenography, catering, run of show. On the day of the event, they complained about everything.
Have you ever been in this situation? The issue probably wasn’t logistical.
In 1936, Dale Carnegie published How to Win Friends and Influence People — a book that has sold over 30 million copies and continues to be recommended by leaders worldwide. Its central argument is simple: professional success depends far more on how we relate to people than on our technical knowledge.
But what does that have to do with events?
Everything. An event is, above all, an exercise in human relationships — with clients, suppliers, teams, sponsors, and audiences. And Part 1 of the book — Fundamental Techniques in Handling People — is a manual that should be in every event planner’s drawer.
Let’s look at the 3 principles — and what they mean in the real world of events.
Principle 1: Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain
What Carnegie says
Criticism is futile because it puts people on the defensive and makes them justify themselves. Instead of correcting, it breeds resentment. Criticism wounds pride, hurts self-esteem, and creates hostility.
The reality in events
The supplier delivered tables late. The sound technician tested equipment at the last minute. The assistant forgot to confirm VIP access.
There’s a moment of tension where the first reaction is to criticize, condemn, or complain — out loud, by email, or behind the scenes.
Practical example
Imagine catering arrives 45 minutes late at a gala with guests already seated. You can explode at the manager — and guarantee a damaged relationship, a demotivated team, and a service delivered with resentment.
Or you can say: “We need to fix this now — how can we speed this up together?”
The problem is the same. The solution is faster with collaboration than confrontation.
Applied tip: when something goes wrong during an event, separate the moment from the analysis. Solve first, discuss later — and do it in private, not in front of the team or client.
Principle 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation
What Carnegie says
There’s a fundamental difference between flattery and genuine appreciation. Flattery is superficial and self-serving. Genuine appreciation comes from truly recognizing someone’s value — and it’s one of the strongest human motivators.
The reality in events
We work with teams under extreme pressure. Setups until 3 a.m., last-minute briefings, constant unexpected issues. And at the end, it’s rare to hear “you did a great job” — unless something went wrong.
Practical example
Your production assistant worked 14 hours straight and ensured no detail was missed. Don’t just say “good job” — that’s generic praise people ignore.
Say: “The way you handled supplier coordination today was critical for the event’s success. I noticed and I appreciate it.”
Specific, genuine, memorable.
Applied tip: at the end of each project, take a moment for individual recognition with your team. It doesn’t have to be long — just honest and specific. That builds loyalty no bonus can buy.
Principle 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want
What Carnegie says
The only way to genuinely influence someone is to talk about what they want — not what you want. Every human action stems from desire. Those who can identify and speak to that desire have a clear advantage.
The reality in events
How often do we present proposals talking about our capabilities, equipment, and experience — when the client only cares about one thing: “What’s in it for me?”
The same applies to sponsors, suppliers, and even guests.
Practical example
You’re negotiating with a sponsor for a music festival. Instead of listing square meters of visibility and program mentions, start by asking: “What is your main marketing goal this year?”
If the answer is “to reach young people aged 18 to 25,” your entire proposal is built around that. You stop selling space — you start selling a solution.
Applied tip: before any client or sponsor meeting, prepare two questions about their goals — not about the event. Their answers will shape your entire value proposition.
Final reflection
Carnegie didn’t write for event planners. But he could have. Because our profession is, at its core, the art of making people feel good — before, during, and after any event.
In the end, the most memorable events aren’t the ones with the most impressive production — they’re the ones that make people feel seen, valued, and understood. Carnegie wrote about this in 1936. We’re still learning it.
Technical principles are learned in courses. Human principles are learned by paying attention to people.
3 things you can apply this week
- The next time a supplier makes a mistake, count to 10 before reacting — and when you speak, start by asking what happened, not by accusing.
- Send a recognition email to someone on your team with a specific compliment about something they did well this week.
- Before your next proposal meeting, prepare two questions about the client’s goals — and let them speak for at least the first 10 minutes.
Which of these three principles is the hardest to apply in your day-to-day? Tell me on Instagram — I’m sure you’re not the only one.