Some books simply confirm what we already felt but couldn’t quite put into words. Não faça Networking, by Marcus Vinicius Freire, was one of those for me.
The title is provocative, but the idea is simple — and, for anyone who plans events, uncomfortable in just the right way: traditional networking, built on business-card exchanges and quick introductions, almost never turns into real business or partnerships. What builds genuine relationships is something else entirely. And that’s exactly what a good event should spark.
The Problem With How We Think About Events
Freire takes aim at transactional networking — the kind where people are treated as tools for immediate personal gain. The cold exchange of business cards, the hollow connection made only to “get something out of it.” The author argues that this mindset drives real opportunities away instead of attracting them.
Read through the eyes of someone who plans events, the warning lands directly. Many corporate events are designed for exactly this kind of surface-level networking: name badges, contact-exchange tables, tightly timed sessions. We optimize for the number of cards exchanged and forget about the quality of what’s left behind. The result is familiar — rooms full of people talking only to whoever already interests them, with very few deals or partnerships surviving past the following week.
Build Bridges, Not a Contact List
A genuine connection is worth more than a business-card exchange — that’s what separates networking from a real relationship.
The book’s central idea is to “build bridges”: helping without expecting anything in return, being interested rather than self-interested, having genuine curiosity about other people’s stories. Not as a technique, but as a way of life — a daily habit.
In practice, it’s also the most effective form of lead generation: a conversation where someone feels genuinely heard stays in memory — and it’s that memory, not a card left in a drawer, that real, lasting business grows from. An event can be designed for exactly this. Less stage time, more conversation. Formats that give people real reasons to take an interest in one another, instead of leaving everyone to fend for themselves at a cocktail hour. The organizer’s job isn’t to fill anyone’s contact list — it’s to create the conditions for connections that outlast the day itself.
What Sport Teaches Us About Cooperation and Synergy
Freire comes from competitive volleyball, and he brings that world into his argument. Trust within a team, he notes, comes from shared effort and common goals — not from formal introductions. A group’s success depends on respecting individual differences and on collaboration. And leadership, he says, is a form of service: a good leader exists to lift up the people on their team.
The parallel to events is almost immediate. The strongest connections — and the most solid partnerships — don’t happen over a tray of canapés. They happen when something is experienced together: a purpose, an experience, a shared goal. It’s that cooperation and synergy, more than any formal pitch, that turns strangers into business partners. And at heart, the organizer is a servant leader. The job isn’t to shine; it’s to design the conditions for others to find each other.
The Pillars Every Good Event Should Have
The book distills solid relationships into three pillars — and, whether by coincidence or not, they’re also what separates an event that generates business from one that gets forgotten.
Real presence. Being genuinely attentive, without distraction. An event can be designed in favor of presence — with moments that demand attention instead of scattering it.
Real presence and attentive listening are the pillars that sustain lasting relationships.
Empathy and listening. Validating what the other person feels, staying open to hearing them. A good format makes space for people to be heard, not just talked at — and that’s where the business opportunities and career opportunities that matter to both sides come from.
Partnerships are born from shared moments — not just exchanged business cards.
Shared values. Lasting alliances are built on a common purpose. Bringing people together around something they believe in is what turns a meeting into a partnership.
From Page to Stage
From page to stage: sharing what you learn out loud is also a way of building bridges.
The book is about life and about business, but I read it as someone who plans events — because an event is, at its core, a rare opportunity: bringing the right people into the same space, at the same time, with the same willingness to be there. Wasting that on swapping business cards misses the point entirely: real business and partnerships are only born from real connections.
The events that stay with people aren’t the ones that generate the most contacts. They’re the ones that build bridges.
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If you’re looking for an event that creates real connections — not just exchanged business cards — let’s talk.
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Photos courtesy of Hype Productions — Roberto Cabral, taken at the BNI Pinhal Activo event (June 11, 2026). Learn more at @hype_produx.